Potty Training with a Speech Delay – What Finally Stuck!
I’m about to get really raw with this one and it’ll probably be long. Potty training was the first aspect of parenting that truly sent me into a shame spiral on more than one occasion. As we have talked about before, I have a five-year-old son with a developmental speech delay and encopresis and while I have an amazing village, it has been difficult to find resources and community around our specific reality. As a mom, it was indescribably hard to watch friend after friend triumph over their kids taking to potty training so easily and so young while my 2, 3,4 and again at 5 years old struggled to commit. I put on a face of patience and understanding when discussing it with others knowing deep down when Kam was truly ready it would happen, but in private I was literally making my hair fall out from trying method after method without success. And don’t get me started on the judgmental looks from strangers or the unsolicited advice… it never helped.
I wanted to write this blog for anyone who may have a late bloomer when it comes to potty training so that you don’t have to scour the deep corners of the internet hoping that someone might have a smidgen of advice that can offer you hope during a challenging time.
The good news is, WE’RE FINALLY POTTY TRAINED! It was quite literally a fourth or fifth times the charm situation but with a little creativity and maybe some last resort bribery, we did it!
What actually worked:
THE PULL UP FAIRY: My kiddo is extremely motivated by surprises and while we were on an extended trip to Hawaii, I snuck into our pull up stash, swiped it and left an Easter basket style surprise with a note from the Pull Up fairy in its place. Essentially the note said the fairy had taken his pull ups to a kid that needed them more than he did and that she knew he was ready for big boy undies. I went to a local Ross, grabbed some small toys on clearance, a sweet treat and a new T-shirt as the fairy’s offering in place of pull ups and when he woke up that morning he was actually excited – well, after he was mad at the fairy for a split second for taking his things LOL. We stuck to our guns, went about our days, packed a travel toilet in our rental car and never looked back! I’ve included a FREE printable version of the Pull Up Fairy letter at the bottom of this blog, enjoy a Pull Up and Diaper fairy version in both blue and pink!
Skiddies: If your kiddo has trouble wiping, struggles with encopresis or IBS, I highly recommend grabbing some skiddies on Amazon – they’re sticky cotton pads you put in the undies that do a great job at catching anything your kid’s wipe may not so that you don’t sacrifice those expensive undies.
What almost worked:
Star Wars Reward Chart: On try number 3 or 4, I used Canva to make Kam a custom reward chart with Velcro reusable stickers, each time he went in the potty, he got to pick a new sticker and once he filled his day, he got to pick a reward from the potty-training treasure chest – we included small toys and books of his favorite characters in a simple bin with a cute sign much like a treasure chest at the doctor’s office. This had a novelty at first and we really thought it would stick but about 5 days in Kam had an encopresis flare that essentially put a stop to potty training all together until it cleared. I’ve included a FREE Printable of the chart at the bottom of this blog – just laminate the chart and stickers, add small Velcro spots into each box and onto the back of each individual sticker!
What didn’t work:
The Three Day Method: You’ve probably heard this one everywhere – taking three days off, not leaving the house and basically letting your kid run around naked until they master it. This doesn’t work for a kid that 1. Isn’t ready 2. Can’t communicate their needs to you yet and 3. Has any type of digestive issue or challenge. Those first three days were easily some of the most tear heavy days of both our collective lives and I would have set up camp in my pantry if it meant I didn’t have to look at another toilet again.
Car Reward Chart: You’ve probably seen them on Etsy and Pinterest, a cute little path with Candyland style spaces that lead to a reward at the end of the road. Kam just simply didn’t give a hoot.
Candy/Stickers after every try: We had a small treat jar and sticker chart but the only thing that ended up happening was Kam running into the bathroom and sitting on the potty to get one every thirty minutes without ever actually going to the bathroom.
Reminders for Mama:
Don’t force it: Your kiddo will be ready when they are ready, and you will only drive yourself crazy trying to do it on your timeline. Ignore the haters.
Don’t fear being temporarily uncomfortable: This is a big change for everyone, your kiddo may have an emotional response and frankly, you may too. Don’t give in too easily when they push back out of fear for something new – no one knows your kid better than you and if it truly feels like they’re ready, push through!
Always be prepared: Pack back up clothes, travel potty’s, portable seats for on the go – have the right kind of training seat and foot stools at home and create visual aids if your kid needs them! Visual Calendars were so helpful for us, and we had one posted in each of our bathrooms at home.
What works for some might not work for you: Don’t get caught up in what did or didn’t work for another mom – try all the things if you need to because you never know what may or may not stick.
Resources:
Potty Seat with built in leg support: https://amzn.to/4gXL1RG
Built in toilet seat with kid adapter: https://amzn.to/3XmOrGG
Car/Travel collapsible travel toilet: https://amzn.to/3F1mNsr
Foldable Diaper bag toilet seat: https://amzn.to/4h6x6cb
Diaper/Pull Up Fairy Printable
Star Wars Inspired Potty Chart
Skiddies: https://amzn.to/43iZ8Oj
I’ll leave you with this – You’ve got this. This will challenge you. This might be hard. You will get through it, and you’ll be so proud of both you for surviving and your kiddo for thriving!