“I DON’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL” – Managing Emotional Mornings
It’s no secret that kids are constantly evolving, as their brains continue to develop, new challenges persist and finding unique solutions to unique problems can be overwhelming. A few weeks ago, we noticed that Kam was a bit emotional coming home from school and seemed uneasy going each day. It was a very abrupt change in his personality to not want to go to school and to push to stay home – we got as many details out of him as we could but with a speech delay there are still challenges when it comes to communication. We found that something happened at recess that made Kamden feel unsafe or sad and was affecting his confidence when it came to going to school. As a parent this can be heartbreaking to watch and really hard to send your kid to school when they’re visibly upset and clinging to you as their safe space, but after doing research, talking to friends with similar challenges and setting up a plan with support staff at school, we were able to get him back to a place where he is enjoying his time and not crying every day at drop off.
Now I’ll preface this by saying that we’re not fully in the rearview yet, but we’re over the hump with this challenge and I know there are other parents out there that could benefit from our roadmap and toolbox.
Things that helped us at school:
Teacher support: We looped his teacher in as soon as we noticed it as a problem. She made sure to keep a close eye on Kam to determine if there was anything going on at school and made sure to offer as many safe space resources as possible to him.
The school support staff: We were able to make a plan with the school counselor for Kam to have check ins with her as needed and together created a roadmap to help Kam feel comfortable making friends and boost his confidence. His counselor gave Kam a stuffie to hold on to as school if he got sad and again, offered a safe space should he need extra support.
Speech therapy: We were able to develop a plan with his therapist to focus on ways for him to verbalize his needs and concerns throughout the day – aka if someone isn’t kind, how to let an adult know.
Things that helped us from home:
The Kissing Hand: This book was recommended to me by a dear friend and is such a good read. The story is about a raccoon that is scared to go to school and his mom finds a way to keep them connected throughout the day. It’s a cute read with fun pictures and easy interaction reinforcement. We read the book before bed to prepare for the morning ahead.
Matching bracelets: We found this sweet 3 pack of spiderman bracelets on Amazon – Mom, Dad and Kam all have one and we told Kamden that when he is feeling sad or missing home, he can rub the spiderman bead and Spiderman will lend him some of his superhero bravery. This was so incredibly helpful and affordable – there are also interactive options where your child can push a button, and your bracelet will light up and vice versa!
The Flipping Feelings book: I mentioned this in another post, but this book gives Kam the ability to identify the emotions he’s feeling and determine ways to cope with those feelings in a safe way.
If you’re going through a similar situation where your kiddo is suddenly not wanting to go to school and your mornings have become an emotional fight, solidarity sister. Secondly, don’t give up – use the resources you have at your fingertips to ensure that your kiddo is safe at school and determine if there is a serious issue. Next, recognize that as hard as it may be to watch, your kiddo is growing and learning about their resilience and that they can do hard things, be as encouraging and positive as you can be while also being sensitive to your kiddo’s needs for things like quality one on one time or a mental health day. I can’t promise you that it will be easy, as is the norm for parenting, watching your child learn about the world can be beautifully tragic but I can promise you that with the right methods this is all temporary. <3