Parenting Through a Speech Delay
Our kiddo is our biggest blessing and greatest adventure – any good parent would say the same about their little ones (or big ones for that matter), but parenthood isn’t without challenges, am I right? Kamden was a very late talker and has what is considered an isolated developmental speech delay (that essentially means that he has no major diagnosis that clearly contributes to his delay) and because of that delay our journey through parenthood has looked a little atypical compared to most of those around us – and that’s ok, but it also adds an element of helplessness at times. Which brings to this post – I remember searching every corner of the internet for parents that I could relate too and finding it really difficult at times. Speech delays are quite often associated with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and between at home surveys, checklists, behavior patterns you hear about online etc. I was going nuts trying to find resources but didn’t feel like I could find things that fit well since Kam’s struggles didn’t exactly match those of most speech delay kiddos. We went through countless screenings and meetings and dr. visits and everyone agreed that Kam wasn’t autistic and as much as not having that diagnosis was originally a relief (I’m in no way saying that had he been diagnosed I would have viewed it as a bad thing but just rather, a more difficult thing to navigate), not having a real explanation for his delay was really jarring to work through at times.
For that reason, I want to share some of the best things we did for Kamden to support him the best we could (and can) during this developmental stage. Keep in mind that Kam was only about 9 months old when Covid lockdown happened and with two high risk parents living with us, we locked down like we lived in Fort Knox.
Travel: I know this seems perhaps odd, but we wanted to make sure that we were still showing Kamden new places and experiences, even if he couldn’t speak. We found that with travel came new skills and nearly every destination gave us a new development that became engrained into a memory of that trip. I’m not a doctor or a scientist and heck, I may be making this up for my own comfort, but I truly believe that continuing to expose Kamden to different parts and people in the world helped develop new skills and new growth.
Socialization: I KNOW that other moms with young kids during the ponderosa can relate to the challenges that came with the lack of socialization when the babes were young. I struggled with my own anxieties of sickness and that kept Kam locked away for too long, by the time I was comfy with it he should have already been talking and I felt down that he couldn’t communicate the way the other kids could. BUT, with that being said – I was the only one bothered by it, Kamden didn’t care that he couldn’t talk back. Resist the urge to hide your kiddo away, find ways to socialize in safe spaces and in short spurts to test the waters. We put Kamden into short 6-week sports programs so he could play with kids his age and adjust to some authority outside of our home and it was a game changer. Our area hosts sportsmanship leagues through a company called i9 – I’ll link it here so you can see if they have programs in your area! Other things we tried that added to his experiences were classes at Little Gym, Preschool, and memberships at indoor playgrounds and playgroups.
Speech Therapy Toys: There are so many things you can buy or put together that will aid in development, some may not seem directly related to speech but help build base skills – I’ll do a separate post on a few DIY things we did to support Kam from 2-4ish. Some of our favorite speech centric toys and activities included talking flashcards, busy books and social stories.
Apps and Subscriptions: Some of our favorite tools are curated kits for STEM like the ones from KiwiCrate, each month you get a themed box with a book and activities that foster age-appropriate development. These kits are so fun. Apps like Speech Blub are subscription based but basically act like supplemental at home speech therapy and helped Kam so much in his early development stages, especially with things like sound recognition and mouth positioning – I highly recommend.
I know that navigating parenthood with an atypical child can be intimidating (especially if it is your first child) but what I’ve learned over the years is that your child is perfect the way that they are. Your child won’t remember the guilt that you place on yourself wondering if something you did caused their speech delay or diagnosis, but they will remember the love that you wrapped around them – so be sure to show them that love as often as you can.
Speech delays and communication conditions are not a reflection of how good you are at being a mom and there is no reason for you to internalize your feelings or keep your struggles to yourself out of shame – find your support system and lean on them. You are exactly what your kiddo needs, even when it feels like the complete opposite. And remember, you are doing great.